''Lovemaking is naturally co-creative. Tantric meditation invites attunement to this generative sexual force, opening you to love and wonder. With clear intention, sexual energy becomes a catalyst for transformation, manifestation and bliss''. Leora Lightwoman on awakening intimacy.
‘I like the picture’ says my 11-year-old son, coming into our bedroom in the morning for a cuddle. The ‘picture’, which has been lovingly blu-tacked to the wall above the bed, is actually a ‘sigil’, a symbolic depiction of my beloved’s and my intentions for our shared future and creative dreams. It has taken a weekend to co-create, discover and emerge as part of our personal ritual of Sexual Magic.
Revelation
We are very proud of our felt-tipped depiction of a huge vibrant heart, zinging fireworks, sensual curves and stylized depiction of an erect male member (‘vajra’ is the word used in Tantra, meaning ‘Diamond Thunderbolt’), all held and contained in a loving embrace. Within it resonate our intentions for our children, work and our own intimacy, which we have begun to embody in our lovemaking, after much preparation. The previous weekend we had begun our Sex Magic ritual with a ‘namaste’, a Tantric greeting to acknowledge the divine in each other. We allowed ourselves to directly experience a deep recognition of our shared humanity. Mark and I have been together for over 4 years, tackling the intricate challenges and beauty of intimate partnership, amidst step families and full time work, whilst also carving out time for romance and discovery. It was our anniversary, and time to envision the next steps for our relationship. We wanted greater ease, harmony, togetherness; we committed to fully supporting our children to flourish and to be truly happy. We envisaged having deeper, more intimate, more frequent, life-affirming and love-generating, truly awesome, sweet, tender and mystical sex. Just as Mark had been entirely new to the world of Tantra when we met, he was now freshly embarking on this practice of consciously harnessing sexual energy as a catalyst for bringing our intentions more fully to life. I had discovered Sexual Magic 20 years ago, and rejected it as materialistic and ego-centric. Recently I had reframed my understanding and approach. I was ready to discover anew how to conceive, gestate and give birth to our deepest longings. The paradox is that Sexual Magic can arise only out of a place of fully surrendering to what lies beyond our limited thoughts, beliefs and understanding. An intelligence greater than what we think we want. We were ready for revelation. We were ready to open to a greater truth than our own minds could envisage.
Co-Creation
What quality of relationship would you like to create? The first step to opening to magic was to open to ourselves. We meditated to develop body-based awareness of being part of a larger whole. We shared deep tissue massage and light sensual touch to open our bodies to greater softness, flow, feeling, sensitivity, aliveness and presence. We both emerged more seaweed-soft, jelly-like, and more open and prone to laughter and tears. Resting in eye contact, we shared our in-the-moment feelings and body sensations, before beginning a breath meditation to connect our own sexuality and hearts with each other’s forming a continuous loop of sexual-loving-creative energy. I offered Mark my love with a gesture from my heart, as he received it into his, and offered me (with breath, gesture and intention) his sexuality and potency, infused with love. This I gratefully received, drawing it up to my heart. All this can sound quite ephemeral, but Julian, a lawyer and previous workshop participant, describes it like this: ‘The seemingly endless breathing turned into something quite magical for me. A real piece of unexpected alchemy’. Doing this practice correctly, lovers, and even two individuals who are not partners, can experience a tangible sense of a ‘third being’, the creative product of their exchange, something beautiful, like a magical gift. Now it was time to make love, as we felt that we were already doing so.
